I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
