Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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