is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
