how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
