In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Randomize
