R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
