I'm going to rape someone's good day.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
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