He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
