we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
