I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
He better not be in your backpack
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Everclear isn't food dammit
I am available for nakedness
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Randomize
