Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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