He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
