when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I will be naked everywhere
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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