He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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