Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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