i don't like sucking hair
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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