These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
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