I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
