I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
