I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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