She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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