My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
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