this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
She needs sedatives and a leash
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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