I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
