By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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