DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Randomize
