Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
