so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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