Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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