I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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