dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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