the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
