I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
