i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
We were destined to go to rehab together
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Randomize
