just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
