even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
