Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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