from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
