How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
