white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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