Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
This beer is not sobering me up at all
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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