You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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