wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
