dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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