i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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