Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
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