3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I think i got beer on your cat.
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