I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
