My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
