im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
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