Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
babies were throwing up all over the place
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Randomize
