I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
someone owes me an orgasm
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
