Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
