have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
