haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
