do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
